Transformative Learning Question

When i read the wikipage, I knew exactly what I wanted to write about - for I had one VERY transformative moment a few years ago and it stuck in my mind - for I knew something very special had occured.

My ex husband and I had separated in February 2009. It was supposed to be a trial separation and I had hopes of continuing to work on our issues during that time. In the fall of that year, my best friend's husband called me on his cell to inform me he had bumped into my ex and he "wasn't alone". I was in denial, of course, at first - but as it turned out, he had been dating this woman for several months behind my back, all the while telling me to my face he was still going to "work on" repairing our broken marriage.

Many emotions went through my head - anger, sadness, denial, etc... (I'm sure you're all familiar with the stages of grief). I carried this anger around for many months. If my children came home from a visit with their father with ANYTHING this woman had given them - it went straight into the trash. I WAS SO HURT. SO MAD!!!

One day, my ex pulled into my driveway to drop off my kids and his girlfriend was in the car. I decided I was going to be an adult about the situation and go and introduce myself. I marched straight out to the car and the poor girl looked terrified! She turned her face away from me as I approached the passenger side of the car - but I knocked on the window and she lowered it. I reached out my hand and said "Hello - I'm Julia".

Something amazing happened to me at that moment we shook hands. All my anger, pain, hurt, fear... it all washed away and was replaced with an overwhelming peace. I realized at that moment that it was a blessing this woman was with my ex. She was clearly very nurturing (she had a young child of her own). She was constantly sending crafts and things home with my kids... pressed flowers, homemade playdoh, etc. I forced my brain to flip the situation upside down. I forced myself to push out the negitive energy and thoughts and replace them with all of the good in the situation. Not only did she do a better job watching my kids than my ex did, but she also helped get me past the hope that my marriage could be saved. Everyone around me seemed to know it was hopeless except me and I seemed to have gotten stuck. Meredith UNSTUCK me.

As time went on, we became close friends and confidents. She emailed me once and said "He is so abusive - how did you handle it?" to which I responded "Isn't it obvious? I divorced him!"

After dating him for 3 years, she finally left him and is now married again to someone else. We still keep in touch to this day.